Last week was spring break.
And I needed a break.

But as we all know, no parent gets a break on spring break.

So, I’m standing in my kitchen, already stretched thin.
My lovely, wonderful, but very five-year-old son started whining.

“I don’t want chicken. I want pasta!”

It’s spring break, what do I care? So, I made the pasta.

“I want chicken!” he screamed. “This is the worst day ever!”

I thought I was being flexible.
Kind.
A good parent who gives their child what they want… every so often.

And yet, something in me tightened.

Have you had a moment like that, too?

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The Moment That Feels Bigger Than It Should

Moments like this happen all the time in parenting.

But what often confuses parents is not the behavior itself.
It’s the intensity of their reaction.

Because sometimes, the reaction feels bigger than the situation.

Your child complains.
Pushes back.
Melts down.

And suddenly your body is flooded with stress.
Your patience disappears.
You feel overwhelmed, reactive, and unsure of how to respond.

Afterward, many parents ask:

Why did I react like that?
Why does this feel so hard?
Is something wrong with me?

There’s nothing wrong with you.

But there is something important happening.

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The Child Within You Is Still Active

Most parenting advice focuses on your children.
How to get them to listen.
How to reduce behavior.
How to manage emotional outbursts.

But very little parenting guidance helps you understand this:

The child in front of you is not the only child in the room.

There is also your inner child.

And your inner child carries your own childhood experiences.
The things you learned about emotions, safety, and relationships.
The ways you were supported… or not supported.

These early experiences shape your mental health, your nervous system, and how you show up in parenting today.

Your reactions are not random.
They are patterned.

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How Your Own Childhood Affects Your Parenting

If you’ve ever wondered:

Do your childhood experiences affect your parenting decisions?

The answer is: yes.

Your own childhood becomes the blueprint for how you respond to your own kids.

If your emotions were dismissed, you may feel uncomfortable with your child’s feelings.
If you were criticized, you may become hard on yourself when your child struggles.
If you had to be “good” to receive love, you may feel triggered when your child resists or pushes limits.

This is not about judging ourselves for our reactions.
It’s about understanding the ways we were conditioned to survive.

Because when we understand where our reactions come from, we gain the ability to shift them.

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When Your Child’s Behavior Activates Your Inner World

I once worked with a parent who described her child as “never satisfied.”

“No matter what I do, he always complains,” she said.

But when we slowed things down, something deeper emerged.

Her child’s behavior wasn’t just frustrating.

It activated an old emotional belief:

I am not enough.

In that moment, she wasn’t only responding as a parent.

She was responding from her inner child.
A younger version of herself shaped by her own childhood.

This is how trauma, stress, and early emotional experiences continue to live in the body.

Not as memories alone.
But as felt experiences.

Tightness.
Heat.
Urgency.
Shutdown.

The body remembers what the mind may not fully see.

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Parenting and Mental Health: It’s Not Just About Your Child

Good parenting happens when we care for the people doing the parenting.

Yet good parenting is often framed as something we do to produce a certain outcome in our children.

As a therapist specializing in parent's mental health, here's what I need you to know:

Your capacity to stay present, regulated, and connected is not about being a perfect parent.
It’s about having enough internal support to stay with hard moments.

Many parents today are navigating:

• Chronic stress
• Emotional overwhelm
• Lack of support
• Unresolved trauma from their own childhood

So when your child struggles, it doesn’t just feel like a parenting challenge to tackle.

Somtimes, because of our inner child wounds and modern day stressors, it can all feel like too much.

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Parenting with Emotional Attunement Instead of Control

Children are not the problem.

Struggling is part of development.

Children are learning how to:

• Handle big emotions
• Navigate relationships
• Cope with frustration
• Understand themselves

The real question is not:

How do I get my child to stop?

It’s:

What does my child need right now?
And what do I need to stay present with them?

This is emotional attunement.

Noticing what is happening beneath the behavior.
Understanding that behavior is communication.
Responding in a way that builds connection and safety.

Because children don’t need perfect parents.

They need regulated, responsive ones.

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How Do You Keep Trauma from Affecting Your Parenting?

This is one of the most important questions parents ask.

How do you keep trauma from your childhood from affecting the way you parent your own children?

The answer is not by ignoring it.
Or by trying to be perfect.

It begins with your self-awareness.

• Noticing your reactions.
• Understanding your triggers.
• Recognizing the emotional patterns that show up again and again.

From there, you begin to build more tolerance for the inevitable stressors that comes with raising kids.

The ability to feel your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.
The ability to pause instead of react.
The ability to stay connected to yourself while staying connected to your child.

This is the work.

Not fixing yourself.
But supporting yourself.

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Practical Ways to Respond Instead of React

This shift doesn’t happen overnight.

But there are small, powerful ways to begin.

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Notice What’s Happening in Your Body

Your body gives you early signals.

Tension.
Heat.
Restlessness.

When you notice these sensations, you create a moment of awareness.

And that awareness is what allows you to choose your response.

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Get Curious About Your Inner Dialogue

What are you telling yourself in that moment?

“I can’t handle this.”
“They don’t respect me.”
“I’m failing.”

These thoughts are not facts.

They are reflections of deeper beliefs shaped by your own childhood experiences.

When you notice them, you create the opportunity to relate to yourself differently.

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Stay Connected to Yourself First

Before trying to change your child’s behavior, check in with yourself.

Can you take one breath?
Can you soften your shoulders?
Can you place a hand on your body?

These small actions signal safety to your nervous system.

And when you feel safer, you can show up differently.

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You Are Not Just Raising Children

You are shaping how your children experience themselves.

How they understand emotions.
How they relate to others.
How they move through the world.

But here’s what often gets missed:

You are also reshaping your own experience.

Every time you pause instead of react…
Every time you stay present with discomfort…
Every time you offer yourself support instead of criticism…

You are changing something.

Not just for your child.
But for yourself.

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The Shift That Changes Everything

When you begin to care for your inner child…
You stop asking your children to carry what was never theirs.

You stop needing them to behave a certain way so you can feel okay.

And instead, you create a different experience of parenting.

More grounded.
More connected.
More compassionate.

Not perfect.
But authentic.

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An Invitation to Go Deeper

If this resonates with you, I want to invite you to continue this work with me.

I’m speaking live for the GPS Parent Series on:

📆 When: Wednesday, April 8th, 2026

⏰ Time: 12p CST and 7p CST

✨Investment: FREE

We’ll explore:

• How your own childhood shapes your parenting
• Why your child’s behavior can feel so triggering
• How to move from reacting to responding
• Ways to build connection and emotional safety in your home

This is not about learning scripts or controlling behavior.

It’s about building the internal capacity to show up as the parent you want to be.

You can save your spot and join me live here.

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Relevant Resources:

🔗 Healing the Mother Wound Exclusive Access inside the Conscious Mommy Community

📘Parent Yourself First: In stores now – order your copy and learn how to Raise Confident, Compassionate Kids By Becoming the Parent You Wish You’d Had. The guidance is practical, actionable, and straightforward. Your path to healing starts now.

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