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Feed the kids. Clean up the mess. Manage the meltdowns. Do the laundry (again). Repeat.
When everything starts to feel like work, it’s easy to lose touch with the lighter side of parenting. You know, the part where you actually laugh with your kids or catch yourself smiling just because they’re being silly and so stinkin' cute.
Here’s the truth: parenting is demanding, but it was never meant to feel joyless. What if the thing you’re missing isn’t more discipline strategies, a better bedtime routine, or a parenting hack… but simply more play?
Playing without purpose, without teaching, without trying to turn it into a “learning moment” is one of the most powerful ways to reclaim joy in your family. And not just for your kids. For you, too.
If fun feels far away lately, you’re not alone. You might just be burned out. And sometimes, the antidote to burn out isn’t doing less, it’s doing something that actually brings life back into the room. Like play.
🎉 Join me and Mia Wisinski of Playful Heart Parenting inside the Conscious Mommy Community for a light, energizing class on Easy Ways to Weave Play Into Your Day. Mia teaches you different theatre games that immediately bring more warmth, affection, and laughter to your family life. Together, we show you how playful moments can reduce stress, increase cooperation, and make parenting feel more connected, and less like a chore. See you inside!
The Importance of Play (Even for Adults)
Play isn’t just a tool for getting your children to engage more cooperatively (although it works wonderfully for that!). But it’s also a vital part of a healthy emotional life for everyone - you included. Human beings are wired for play, just like we're wired for connection, curiosity, and joy. And yet, under the weight of mental health challenges, daily stress, and endless demands, play is often the first thing to go.
Many of us think we have to get through the mundane routines before we'll allow ourselves to play with our kids. It's almost as if we treat play as something to earn rather than an innate need.
But here’s what research shows:
- Playing with your children improves your mental health and theirs.
- It reduces stress, improves emotional regulation, and strengthens your family bond.
- It supports the development of key skills like problem-solving, flexibility, and cooperation.
Play is powerful. It reconnects us to the present moment. It helps us access our creativity. And it brings a lightness that so many perfectionist parents deeply crave, but rarely give themselves permission to feel.
Is It Normal to Not Enjoy Playing With Your Kids?
Yes, it's common for many parents to find play boring, labor-intensive, or a distraction from all the household tasks that really need to get done. Especially if you’re feeling anxious, depressed, overstimulated, or overwhelmed, your innate playfulness can be difficult to access. In fact, play and anxiety have an inverse relationship. The more anxious you feel, the less playful you are.
Many parents find pretend play tedious or draining, not because they’re doing something wrong, but because their nervous systems are already maxed out.
If you’re a full-time mom constantly managing the needs of little ones, you’re already doing a lot of invisible work. Adding “play enthusiast” to your list often adds to the already heavy mental load.
But here’s the reframe: you don’t have to love playing to embrace more playfulness. Start small. Choose lightness. Let the silliness in, just for a moment.
⭐ ️ Playfulness is more than a mood...it’s one of the six Seeds of Connection that nurture secure relationships, as explored in my book, Parent Yourself First. If you’re craving more ease and joy in your parenting, this book is your next step.
What Counts as Play?
Play doesn’t need structure, materials, or a Pinterest-worthy setup. If it brings joy and allows you to feel present with your child, it counts. Some of the best ways to play are also the simplest:
- Use silly voices while reading books.
- Dance in the kitchen while cooking.
- Narrate your toddler’s block building like a sports commentator.
- Make up nonsense songs during diaper changes.
- Let your child "be the teacher" while you pretend to be the goofy student.
One of my favorite things to play with my kids is STORYTIME. Here's how we do it. I ask them to pick a main character, decide on a location, and tell me what problem they're facing. WIth that information, I improvise a story that has a clear beginning, middle, and end. My kids are obsessed with this, and will often ask if we can act out the story together.
Seeing them bring the characters (and the storyline) to life melts my heart. These kinds of playful moments not only help to shift the energy in your home, but they also build creativity and imagination. They reduce tension, invite laughter, and increase cooperation, all without raising your voice or offering a reward.
Life is truly better because of play.
Why Playing With Kids Makes Us Happy
Play is the language of your child's soul. They use play to tell you everything about their inner world - their thoughts, feelings, needs, perceptions, ideas, beliefs...all of it.
When you pause to really engage - without multitasking, correcting, or rushing - you enter the world your child lives in: full of wonder, imagination, and freedom. That world is healing. You get to truly know your child and understand them on a deep, unspoken level. It is through play that our most enjoyable, connected relationships are developed and sustained.
I often remind the couples in my practice: couples who play together, stay together. Well, guess what? It's also true that families who play together, stay together.
Play builds safety and trust, two non-negotiable foundations for every healthy relationship.
The more you access that playful state within you, the more it becomes available...even on hard days.
You Don’t Have to Play All Day
How many hours should a parent play with their child each day? There’s no magic number. Some research says that children benefit from just 10–20 minutes of focused, engaged play a day. That’s it.
Quality matters more than quantity. Being in the present moment, even briefly, fills your child’s emotional cup more than hours of distracted time.
Let go of the pressure to be the entertainer, educator, or cruise director. Show up for a short time with your full attention, and then let that be enough.
When You’re Too Tired to Play
If play feels completely out of reach, listen to that signal. Burnout, anxiety, and depression all reduce your capacity for spontaneity and fun. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It means your system needs care, too.
There's a fantastic (and hilarious) cartoon that depicts all the ways you can play with your kids while lying down. My personal favorite is to lay down and have them build a fort around me. It's glorious. I "rest my eyes" and they do all the work. Win win.
But when you're too tired to play, can you invite yourself to a playful moment? Or, can you do a quiet, relaxing playful activity, like a puzzle, reading a book, or coloring some pages together? Don't just do this for your child's benefit alone...but for your own healing, too. Even a shared laugh can help regulate your nervous system and soften the tension in your home.
🎭 Mia Wisinski (@playfulheartparenting) and I share simple, realistic ways to invite more play into your home - even when you're too tired - without needing to be the “fun parent” all the time. Exclusively accessible inside the Conscious Mommy Community! See you inside!
The Power of Joy in Everyday Life
Joy is not a reward for getting everything done. It’s not a bonus for perfect behavior. It’s a need -- for you and your kids.
Shared joy is the first milestone in the infant-parent attachment. This is how fundamental play is to the way humans develop. Without play, we lose our soulful nature. And here's the thing about play: it's always at our fingertips.
A walk around the block might feel nice with your headphones on, almost feeling like you're in your own little world.
But that same walk becomes whimsical and interesting when you look up and notice the clouds; or the grandness of the tree in front of you; or the amazing work of busy bees in a lavender bush. This is how children experience the world. We've lost a bit of that magic by the heaviness of adulting, but we can reclaim it.
Reclaiming joy through play reminds your whole family that life is not solely about rules and routines. Sure, those are important. But what's more important is connection, shared joy, laughter, and lightness. A sense of ease, rest, stillness, and presence. All of these are worth living for...and they can be found in play.
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Relevant Resources:
🔗 How to Be A Playful Parent Exclusive Access inside the Conscious Mommy Community
📘Parent Yourself First: In stores now – order your copy and learn how to Raise Confident, Compassionate Kids By Becoming the Parent You Wish You’d Had. The guidance is practical, actionable, and straightforward. Your path to healing starts now.
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