Toddlerhood is a beautiful season. Your little one is developing in so many ways that their words, minds and bodies are often thrown out of sync.
One minute you’re doing great, heading to the park and the next minute, you brought the wrong shoes you might as well just call it a day.
I know. I’ve been there.
Today we’re breaking it down to some practical tips for handling prolonged episodes, understanding sudden toddler temper tantrums, and gracefully managing those unforgettable public meltdowns.
So, let's embark on this journey together and discover effective strategies to weather the storm.
Toddler Temper Tantrums - When To Worry?
Toddler temper tantrums are a common and often challenging aspect of child development. Although they are a normal part of growing up, there are certain factors to consider when determining if and when to worry about them:
· Frequency and Duration
Occasional tantrums are normal for toddlers, especially between the ages of 1 and 3. They might have multiple tantrums a day, but they should be relatively short-lived (typically lasting a few minutes). The key to managing your child's big feelings lies in maintaining your composure and approaching the situation with compassion. Remember to focus on grounding yourself first and notice your own emotional response during your child's emotional moments.
If tantrums become extremely frequent (all day, every day), intense (you're walking on eggshells, because you're afraid to set them off), or long-lasting (e.g., over 20-30 minutes), it may be a cause for concern. You'll be best supported by seeking professional guidance and support.
· Triggers
Tantrums can be triggered by various factors, such as hunger, tiredness, frustration, being told no, or changes in routine. It's normal for toddlers to have specific events that ignite the big feelings.
However, it might be worth investigating further if tantrums seem to happen without an obvious reason or in response to minor frustrations consistently once your child reaches the kindergarten years and beyond.
· Developmental Milestones
Tantrums can be more common when toddlers are hitting developmental milestones, like language development or potty training. If tantrums persist beyond these milestones or if the child seems to be struggling significantly with these milestones, it may be a good opportunity to speak with your pediatrician, partner and/ or parent support group.
· Safety Concerns
When your child becomes physically aggressive towards themselves or others during a tantrum, it's essential to address these behaviors promptly. Safety should always be a top priority. Move your child to some place safe and focus on co-regulating with them. Once they're soothed, give them the words to express themselves and/or show them how to use gentle hands.
· Consistency Across Settings
Observe whether the tantrum behavior is consistent across different environments (e.g., home, daycare, with grandparents). It might be more concerning if it's consistently problematic in multiple settings. Keep in mind that the presence of tantrums themselves is not problematic - it's normal. It's when the tantrums cannot be redirected or soothed, and they're happening intensely with no reprieve, that you may want to seek out additional support.
· Parental Concern
Trust your instincts as a parent or caregiver. If you have concerns about your child's behavior, seek guidance from a pediatrician or child therapist. They can provide a professional assessment and guidance tailored to your child's specific situation.
Temper Tantrum Management - Tips for Handling Prolonged Tantrums
Handling prolonged tantrums in toddlers can be challenging, but there are strategies you can use to manage these situations effectively:
· Stay Calm
Your calm demeanor can have a soothing effect on your child, helping them regulate their emotions.
· Offer Comfort
Provide a safe and reassuring presence, even if your child resists physical contact.
· Create a Calming Environment
Dim the lights, offer a soft or weighted blanket, or play gentle music to create a soothing atmosphere.
· Distraction
Introduce an activity or toy to divert their attention and help them transition out of the tantrum.
· Use Simple Language
Speak to the child in simple and reassuring language. Avoid long explanations or lectures. Say something like, "I know you're upset. It's okay. We'll figure this out together."
· Give Space
If the child prefers space during a tantrum, provide it, but keep a watchful eye to ensure their safety. Some children may need to calm down on their own.
· Offer Choices
If appropriate, provide the child with choices to regain a sense of control. For example, "Do you want to wear the blue or red shirt today?"
Toddler Tantrums For No Reason
It's easy to feel blindsided when your toddler's temper tantrum appears out of nowhere. While it might feel like there's "no reason," an underlying trigger often may be there under the surface.
Tips for Understanding and Addressing Tantrums with No Apparent Cause:
Here are some effective tips to resolve anger issues and control your children's tantrums.
· Observe Patterns and Triggers
Look for recurring situations or environments that might trigger tantrums. Provide your child with a visual schedule to help them understand what they can expect to help eliminate tantrums as a result of 'expectation errors'. It's also helpful to notice if there are any adjustments you need to make to your child's schedule to support their regulation.
· Offer Physical Comfort
Sometimes, a comforting hug or gentle touch can help a child feel secure and reduce their frustration.
· Teach Emotional Regulation
When your child is calm, help them identify their emotions and teach them strategies for coping with difficult feelings. Books are a great way to facilitate these lessons. Teach them to metaphorically breathe in a flower and blow out a birthday candle.
· Set Clear Expectations
Ensure your child understands the rules and expectations, even if they can't articulate why they're upset. Consistency in discipline is key.
· Avoid Overstimulation
Too much sensory input or a hectic environment can overwhelm a child. Create a calm and quiet space when needed.
· Use Visual Aids
Visual schedules or emotion charts can assist children in expressing themselves and understanding their emotions.
· Positive Reinforcement
Praise and reward good behavior to encourage positive choices.
Toddler Tantrums In Public
Public tantrums can feel like a spotlight on your parenting skills, but rest assured, they are a normal part of toddlerhood. Handling tantrums in public requires a mix of understanding, preparation, and graceful composure.
Following are some useful tips for managing your toddler tantrum in public:
· Preparation is Key: Bring snacks, toys, and comfort items to help prevent or manage tantrums.
· Stay Calm and Confident: Focus on your child's needs while remaining composed, regardless of onlookers.
· Offer Distraction: Engage your child in an interesting activity or redirect their attention to diffuse the tantrum.
· Find a Quiet Space: If possible, move to a less crowded area where your child can calm down.
Next: Join The Community
As we wrap up our exploration of toddler temper tantrum tips, we invite you to connect with a community of parents who understand the challenges and joys of raising toddlers.
Tantrums are a natural part of development, and by sharing your experiences, learning from others, and offering support, we can all navigate this phase with greater ease and confidence.
Join our vibrant online community to exchange stories, seek advice, and celebrate the small victories that come with parenting. Together, we can create a space where tantrums are seen as opportunities for growth, understanding, and connection. So, let's come together, share our insights, and navigate the beautiful journey of parenthood with open hearts and open arms.
Toddler Tantrum FAQs
How to manage severe temper tantrums 2-year-olds?
Managing severe temper tantrums in 2-year-olds involves staying calm, providing a safe environment, using distraction, and setting clear boundaries.
What is the best way to respond to a tantrum?
The best way to respond to a tantrum is to stay calm, validate your child's feelings, redirect their attention, and offer comfort when needed.
Can tantrums be prevented?
Experiencing big emotions is part of your child's development. Tantrums can be prevented to some extent by maintaining a consistent routine, ensuring the child gets enough rest and food, and teaching them effective communication skills. However, you are not in control of your child's emotions, and you could be the most attentive parent and will still have a child who tantrums. So don't focus on eliminating tantrums. Focus on setting your child up for success.
What causes temper tantrums?
Temper tantrums can be caused by frustration, hunger, fatigue, or a desire for attention or independence. Identifying triggers can help manage them.
Why Do Some Older Kids Also Have 'Terrible Twos' Tantrums?
Some older kids may have "terrible twos" tantrums due to ongoing developmental stages, stress, or difficulty expressing emotions. Sometimes these children have undiagnosed ADHD, are Autistic, or may struggle with sensory processing issues. Effective communication, a needs-based lens, consistency with teaching emotional intelligence, and supportive empathy remain crucial, especially for these children.
